Dear Kim and Kris:
Life in the real lane is not a Disney Fantasy! We ALL want to see a Happy Ever After Love story ending for you two.
Kan you love someone for a Thousand Years???
Merry Christmas
More Koaching Koming Soon.....
12/30/2011
In this Coaching Consulting excerpt the process of Integral Life Coaching will be discussed as well as how this approach differs from classical psychological therapy, i.e. marriage counseling. In coaching the term used is Units of Work. This treatise will outline some specific Units of Work that may be addressed during coaching sessions. These specific areas of focus, concern and transformation may require more or less numbers of sessions as growth and transformation is organic in nature and many clients grow at different rates depending on inherent emotional and physical maturity.
Most specifically, the Integral Life Practices approach addresses Four Quadrants of habitation. These four quadrants can be understood as individual or collective aspects of interaction and either interior growth or exterior growth arenas. Wilber (2008) specifically defines these four dimensions of your being-in-the-world: your individual interior (i.e., your THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, INTENTIONS, and psychology), your collective interior (i.e., your relationships, culture and shared meaning), your individual exterior (i.e., your physical body and behaviors), and your collective exterior (i.e., your environment, social structures and systems). As you can see the psychological aspect of your Beingness is a small aspect of this developmental model. It offers a complex and inclusive approach of a broad nature that will aid development in many areas of interaction. The psychological therapeutic approach is limited and works only to address dysfunction in the emotional arena of functionality focusing mainly on addressing behaviors and looking into the past. In contrast, this integral coach approach works to build skills, is future focused and aims to attain goals that the client identifies with the aid and positive reinforcement of the coach. The coach and coachee relationship is a mutual side-by-side relationship offering care and guidance to overcome obstacles and develop healthier habits to earning a healthier, happier life and livelihood.
With that said, DEAR Kim and Kris your story has been in the news for months and has been the topic of many conversations both personal and professional in my life. Please know I offer these words as encouragement and tools of reflection as a sincere hope for both of you to grow and contemplate. It is my most earnest prayer that both of you find inner peace and greater happiness in the coming months and years of your lives. All is not lost; many choices are yet to be made. Do both of you have the courage and emotional grit to dig in and work for a Happy Ever After New Beginning???
First off, my inclination is to ask when is enough, enough? You are both millionaires how many times over? What are your financial goals individually? As a couple? Are you working to gain more, as in quantities of goods? When do you upgrade to considering quality of interactions? Quality of Goods and Services? Have you considered giving back to the surrounding culture: Philanthropy? How do you upgrade your goals to incorporate this aspect of materiality? Also, does each of you respect the level of complexity and financial success each of you has gained so far in your lives? So young and so successful in other aspects of your lives, both of you have worked hard to achieve that success. Why not work to achieve success in your marriage? Why walk away so soon????????? I know bad behavior is bad behavior. And abuse is abuse. And verbal abuse is still abuse. Kym does Kris know how to apologize? Do you know how to forgive? Those are very important skills every happily married couple knows how to engage in and practice does make perfect!
About those verbal abuse issues, Kris does your coach use verbal negative talk to motivate you in the locker room? I played basketball in high school; we played for the state championship title. I can remember some pretty intense sweaty yelling in my face feedback from my basketball coach. The intensity and competition was fierce at that level of play for girls. You play at the professional level of intensity, a whole magnitude of intensity beyond college level. And guy talk in locker rooms is pretty fierce to begin with add the pressure of winning and megabucks on top of that; well I can see where the verbal habits may have been conditioned. Now you are a married man, at least for a time you were. Willing to grow your skill levels? How many coaches have you had in your Pro Ball life? How many coaches have you contracted with to grow your relationship skills? It took you years of practice and thousands of hours of perfecting your skills to attain professional status in your field of expertise. Why not invest in an integral coach to perfect another aspect of your exteriority?
Yes, it takes two to Tango. From some of the tabloid reports it seems Kim quit first. You are no quitter? Mr. Professional Sportster, are you? It Sounded from reports that the cameras were getting to you. Was that one of the reasons for the verbal outbursts, underlying pain and frustration. That game plan did not change, you knew that going in. Look on the bright side; you have a readymade marketing machine right at your doorstep. How can you invest in products that would grow the sustainability of our markets? You are a tall, handsome man. What manufacturer of male clothes produces organically grown fabrics stateside for men? Is there one in operation? Can you work with one designer to create such a line of men’s wear? Sustainable and American made for the Integral Man! For me, I can no longer wear fake fabrics the ones made of plastic and their cousins. I start to feel out of sorts after about an hour or so. What other fabrics would benefit the circulation of Chi. The chakra system is a step-down transformer of Energy that requires practices and attention to maintain and sustain the system at optimum and growing levels of amperage. In other words, the circuitry of your bio-electric system is continually stepping up in its ability to hold a load. A load in electrical engineering is the ability of some device, in this case your body, to hold a load. Upgrading the resistance of your circuitry is key to growing your awareness and creating the Golden Elixir. More charge, electricity in the system more complex chemistry can be manufactured, more chakras are open and flowing which results in more Enlightenment in the system. How about some shoe brand that allows for more Chi to flow up from Mama Earth? One that is made of a conducting sustainable material; one that could be adapted to court useage? The New Air Kris? Speaking of Michael Jordan, he was game to get Enlightenment/mindfulness into the NBA. What mindfulness practices do you engage in? Do you meditate at all? Do you know when you step into the ZONE? Know HOW to do that repeatedly, when you choose to? Flow states are another key skill to understand and incorporate into your Integral Life Practice!
Speaking of Sustainability, Kim I just recently saw another headline featuring sweatshop allegations about your line of products! Tsk, Tsk, What can you do to insure that sustainability practices are carried out throughout your product lines? How about featuring a reality segment focused on what Sustainability means in manufacturing. How the three P’s of People, Process and Planet are all being factored into your products manufacturing from Cradle to Cradle!!!
One definition of Enlightenment is the ability to take perspectives. Kim you are a very beautiful WOMAN. You are also a powerful and financially successful individual. Do you have enough to feel comfortable sharing? How can you actively embody The Feminine Divine, to BE The Muse aspect to inspire others to achieve excellence in their lives? How can you inspire Kris to be a better man to want to take care of your relationship? How many times in your relationship did both of you think in terms of WE, Instead of taking the individual approach of me or my time or my projects? It takes time and the acquisition of skills to think as a couple to nurture the relationship. Growing from a single lifestyle, perspective into a couple-ship takes work and consideration.
Kris why did you change so much after the wedding? The tabloids were filled with descriptions of your bad behaviors! Telling Kim she was fat, pushing her buttons and your angry verbal outbursts. What was really going on for you? Can you dig a little deeper, what were the more passive aspects of self underneath those aggressive traits? I am sure it can be tough for a big, tough athlete to get in touch with his more delicate sensitive emotional self. What were the hurt, upset and disappointing aspects of life after the honeymoon? Yes, it is difficult for a man to cry in our society, express sadness and hurt in a healthy manner without yelling, beating up the furniture, or someone else. Know how to write a letter? Know how to Send flowers? Know how to Contract with a coach to engage in healing coaching conversations? Does Kym have listening skills to hear your perspective? Does She need to learn how to give you the space and time to communicate in a less aggressive manner? Did you step into intensity without feeling the ebb and flow of healing and growing into deeper connections with each new interaction? Trust is a delicate and powerful commodity. Caring for each other’s emotional health is just as important as concern for the physical vessel of life. Food for the body, food for the soul, food for the emotional self and food for the spirit, all important skills needed to nurture an integral relationship.
Yes, Kim has a fleet of folks at her beck and call to make every moment of her life more perfect? Did she expect you to kow-tow to her every wish to making her life more to her wishes? Did your needs get brushed under the rug? Were you able to voice your needs in a caring and considerate manner? “Hey Babe, I’d really like it if we did, blah, blah, blah” Can you take no, standing on your feet? Do both of you know how to argue and come to a mutually satisfying arrangement. Couples who have healthy arguing skills grow together instead of apart. Learning and growing through the ups and downs. Or agree to take turns and gee wow, maybe share responsibility for decision making.
Kim you are 30 years old and have dated how many Men? Something about Kris made you step to the next level of commitment with him. Why give up so soon? How many professional coaches have your contracted with to build your businesses? You have relationships with your sisters that have lasted for how many years? Did they go through ups and downs? Did you think you were going to develop trust and the same level of intimacy overnight? How many arguments have you had with your sisters? Mother? Brother? Father? Step-Father? Were you comparing your relationship with your husband to those bonds you have developed over years with other important people in your life?
And speaking of important people what does your Step-Dad, Bruce Jenner have to say about the developments in your marriage. Have you spoken with him? Asked his advice? He is a Gold Medal Olympian of not just one sport but 10, a Decathlon Champion. He married a woman with FOUR children from a previous marriage and then created a couple more. He is not a lazy man; He knows what it takes to make a relationship work! Your MOM looks to be a healthy, happy and well loved woman. What does She think about your short married life? It would be wonderful to work with them as Integral Life Partners to grow their Golden Elixir! She is of a ripe age. The illusion of what menopause is for women with all that natural heat being generated! Boy O Boy, those two could step right into some pretty complex processing with their years of trust and resolution skills. If you and Kris don’t step up, how about motivating your Mom and Step-Dad into biting the bit of developing an Integral Lifestyle???
Back to Kim and Kris, Don’t get me wrong, verbal abuse is verbal abuse. It is not something I would recommend anyone tolerating for any length of time. But then, how many professionals did you two contract with to aid you two to grow skills to create a successful, happy marriage, an integral relationship? You two are hard driving, high profile successful professionals in your own right. Did you think the Law of the Harvest would start with harvesting? One needs to till the soil, plant the seeds, water the crops, weed the garden, add the fertilizer; some folks play classical music to their plants and even sing to them. There are many steps and stages to any process before you get to harvest the yield of your endeavors. In this case, HARVEST MEANS a happy marriage, kids and years of good times and memories.
Did you think it was NOT going to require added effort? Marriage takes work, hopefully happier and happier work to grow fun and sharing more Beauty together, creating romantic and intimate times. How many levels of intimacy do you two know how to share? Have either of you developed your Tantric skill set to be able to connect at the energetic level of interaction. Have either of you stepped into transcendental connections? Know what that means? Experienced the pleasures of YabYum? Kris you are a professional athlete, you would have great conditioning and be able to go the distance. Know more complex processes other than bouncing on Kym as long as you can before you shoot your load? Yes, that about sums up the unconscious sexual practices of those who have yet to dive into more complex and more pleasurable, sexual BLISS manufacturing skills. Kim walked away pretty fast, DaddyO….need to grow some skills in that department too??? Complexity theory applies whole=heartedly to an integral relationship. The more you know the more you want to know, it grows and flowers your Alchemical System into producing the Nectar of Immortality. And, it is named for the process, the Jing Cycle that it activates. Immortality takes an added level of practice and process. It is post-Enlightenment practice. Technically, in my lineage the label for Enlightenment can be equated to Christ Consciousness. And, post-Enlightenment is Brahman Consciousness. Have you studied those levels of awareness? Know how to attain Christ Consciousness? Want to activate your Golden Elixir responses? Eternal Life means just that. Personally feel the prophesized Golden Age of a thousand years is limited. Eternity means ETERNITY. However long we can co-create that to be created, creatively.
In this treatise, a few areas of concern were addressed. Each quadrant of experience requires specific skill sets to grow and mature that connection. Additional skill sets can address areas of social intelligence, cultural intelligence, emotional intelligence, SEXUAL intelligence and spiritual intelligence. In short, developing an Integral Lifestyle takes practice, patience and process.
Is anyone else interested in growing their Immortal SELF???
In my undergraduate studies of Environmental Science biodiversity was an important and some would say seminal understanding of creating a healthy living environment. How can we as a people of this most Beautiful and Majestic Planet sustain our environment as we grow into an Immortal Lifestyle. Are we like the viruses depicted in the movie Matrix, consuming without regard for the whole? My fascination for flocking behaviors in species to this day holds my awareness unbounded. Also, do you know how many species only take ONE mate during their material existence on this Sister Gaia, Third Rock from the Sun? Schools of Fish, Flocks of Birds, and Gaggles of Geese…. Birds of a Feather, Flock together.
Geese honk to each other on their migratory path, each has a unique voice. We recognize each other’s voice on the phone in a few syllables. So do geese when they flock together. Why do geese fly together thousands of miles? Why don’t we see individual geese just hap-hazardously making a beeline South? Why the V shaped form? All first cousins formed together? Are they all wearing the same signet ring? Seems like it would be a lonely and boring flight by oneself? Seems more fun, honking and flying and encouraging each other along….
When you look at a gaggle of geese,
Kan you see the Kaptain of the Gaggle Kalling out
With a recognizable, encouraging voice
2 short and ONE long honks….Honk, Honk, HOOOONNNKKKKK
Pick up the pace
There is turbulence ahead, Be careful…. Honk, Honk, HOOOONNNKKKKK
There is rain up ahead we need to detour…. Honk, Honk, HOOOONNNKKKKK
Come on Kim learn forgiveness…. Honk, Honk, HOOOONNNKKKKK
Come on Kris learn how to apologize and make your wife hear it with sincerity…. Honk, Honk, HOOOONNNKKKKK
Come on Kim, How many folks do you have in your retinue, working to make every little detail perfect for your pleasure. Did you want your Husband to act like one of them??? He has needs, desires as well…. Honk, Honk, HOOOONNNKKKKK
When do you Two want to learn a higher level of Sexual Engagement….
Honk, Honk, HOOOONNNKKKKK
To Infinity and Beyond….Honk, Honk, HOOOONNNKKKKK
Blessings BE and wishing you Two a Happy New Year,
Ashoka Ishaya
